Enema Klutzes

Here's something wild, wonderful and wacky. This video is both erotic and comedic! Not only do you get to watch two nice-looking enema virgins share five enemas, you get some laughs, too! Oh, these two are sexy enough, alright, but the bloopers we decided not to edit out, in between the steamy parts, were something to behold! What's more, it's over an hour-and-a-half long!

Meet Austin, a diminuitive oriental gal. She's a healthcare professional, but we're not sure we'd want her on our ward if we were ever hospitalized. She did "weird stuff". For instance, how many times have you seen someone put on latex exam gloves to give themselvesan enema?

Then, she had such a time getting the nozzle in properly and getting the water to flow that Anika (the director) and the cameraman had to cut and step in twice, but she finally got two quarts of soapsuds in.

Meet Austin's friend, Vivian, a pretty little Brazilian enema virgin and another healthcare professional you might consider a little dodgy if you were hospitalized and she was your floor nurse. We'd rather see her on the floor.

Austin filled up the bag with soapsuds and proceeded to do the honours. Vivian had a lot of cramping (probably because the girls made the water too cold), but she still managed to get all but about a half ounce of the 2-quart bag in.

She ended up full, crampy and bloated and was glad when she was finally able to run to the potty.

Then, it was time for Viv to resurrect herself and give Austin an enema, this time using an inflatable retention nozzle. And, oops, we found out that giving the girls "complex machinery" like that was a definite mistake.

Have you ever heard the southernism, "Couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions written on the heel"? You guessed it! In the photo at left, above, these two were trying to get the air out of a hose before administering an enema. Notice the way Viv's holding the hose way up above the bag. In the process of wasting three or four minutes, before the director finally gave up and coached them, they proved to the viewers that they didn't realize water runs downhill and air rises to the top. You think we're kidding? Watch the video! Lots of coaching from the cameraman became necessary at several points in this production and you'll hear his stifled laughter a few times, too.

So, of course, they got into even more trouble when Viv couldn't figure out how to work the inflator! "Too much plumbing", or something like that.

And here's Viv again, holding the hose higher than the bag and wondering why water doesn't run uphill. With copious amounts of coaching from Anika and the cameraman, they finally got the entire bag into Austin, who, by then, was quite ready to poop with extreme enthusiasm.

Then there were all the "Things I wouldn't ever want to hear an enemate say". Here's Vivian, trying unsuccessfully to screw a Silver Bullet onto a hose. (It just slips on.) After being told what it was called four times (even once during filming - you'll hear it), she called it everything BUT the "Silver Bullet", from "The Implement" to "The Steel Thing". Never once did she get it right. Or much of anything else, for that matter.

At least we can say Viv liked the warmth of the Silver Bullet and had a lot easier time holding two quarts of saltwater than on her first try with soapsuds.

Speaking of things you wouldn't want to hear your enemate say, the girls voiced complaints about everything from cramps to the amount of water to the fun nozzles they got to play with, and then they even got into a weird conversation about how the fullness of a large-volume enema made then feel like throwing up. How romantic. It was obvious they hadn't a clue as to what it was all about and it got funnier and funnier, with the crew wondering what gaffe they'd commit next.

It was finally Austin's turn, again. For the fifth enema on this video, we gave her (you think we'd let her choose?) an old, red fountain syringe with a black hard rubber douche nozzle, which they filled with saltwater. Well, maybe. They kept spilling things, too. We know it was at least full of two quarts of something liquid.

"Finally", we sighed. Austin was not only getting the hang of things, she was beginning to see how and why people get off on enemas. She decided to have herself a little fun during her last enema.

She had no trouble taking the full two quarts while getting herself off, either, but you know something? We told her and told her and told her some more, but we never got her to look at the camera much while she was on the potty. Mostly, she stared at her feet. Make of that whatever you will.

Once Austin was finished on the potty, we were out of time in regard to how much material we could cram onto a DVD without resorting to lower-resolution formatting (like they use to get a 2½-hour movie on DVD), so we ran off a couple of "outtakes" behind the credits at the end. Austin stopped at the mirror for what appeared to be a butthole inspection (wonder what she thought she might find? Jimmy Hoffa?) while Vivian was busily getting herself off on the bed.

Enema Klutzes features a gorgeous oriental girl and a sexy Brazilian; and you aren't going to believe all the dumb and funny things the girls do and say! Would it measure up on "America's Funniest Home Videos"? Well, maybe not, but only because of the subject matter. Some of the stuff they do and say really will astound you.

The Collector confesses that this was a difficult video to edit. Laughing and shocked disbelief got in the way of work. Also, it's given him nightmares. What happens when you get two girls who claim to be real healthcare professionals (and have the papers to prove it), but who are so incredibly inept that they can't work a simple gravity-flow enema bag? You wake up, screaming your way out of a nightmare in which you've been injured in a car accident, you can't talk or communicate, but you're fully conscious and aware. In fact, you're most especially aware that Austin and Vivian are your intensive-care nurses.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Time: 1 hour 38 minutes

Price: $70.00

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©2004 The Collector